Seems like everyones throwing advice at me since I'm graduating and I'm single. It gets tougher and tougher to hear. I know its for the best everyone is trying to help, but really I just want to hurt. I mean I don't like hurting, but through the pain I will grow and there's really no other easy way around getting over all this and moving on. But I am listening and sometimes parts of it stick. like my friend saying I am FREE and I can date anyone I want just like he can. It sounds elementary, but when she spoke those words something clicked. I've just be so upset with the fact that I want him and he doesn't want me that I forget that I don't have to cry for him to change his mind. I have the freedom to move on if I want, but I really don't want to yet. I just want to cry it out.
All they say about him is true; he never cherished me -and that's what hurts the most; that I didn't realize until it was over that he never wanted me for me in the first place.
I have a hard time understanding how the single life doesn't bother people. I hate being single. I've always hated dating and thats the reason I've tried to always be in serious relationships. I had a realization at 16 years old that all I need is to find the one God has for me. I could save myself a LOT of heartache by not trying to do it myself. It will be a long time, if ever, that I can build trust in someone enough to think of marriage again. I was with this guy and the relationship was everything I ever dreamed of and then one day he just let me go. I still love him so much and my heart aches so bad that I can't sleep at night. It's over now. It's completely over. He has moved and some how I must find the courage to do the sane. He doesn't want to be with me. Now I'm constantly thinking is it me or something I did or said or another girl or him or what. He told me the exact reasons he was letting me go: i dont have the characteristics of soneone he wats to marry. but why didn't he recognize these issues in the beginning? Its just something I have to live through one day at a time I guess.
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